- Quotes & Onerous Negs




(after Xiao has spouted off a very long list of insults)
Xiao: "Xiao the Insult Dog is dead."
Oz: "May that bitch rest in peace."

Xiao: "This doesn't hurt."
Xiao: "I just slit my hand open [with Jim's knife]."

Parag: "Isn't it funny that Bob Jones University is known as BJU?"
Everyone (except Irene): *Laughter*
[Cecilia repeatedly punches Parag.]
Irene (confused): "Wait, what's BJ?"
Eddie: "Oh, I know what that is."

Cecilia: "Who's the bigger asshole, [Jordan] or Chris Frankel [of Princeton]?"
Everyone: *Silence*
Parag: "That remains to be seen."

Jim: "Teams are whites vs. Asians."
Cecilia: "That's not fair ... oh, wait, I forgot that Albert [Chu] is Asian."

Jim (to Jordan): "Now you're telling [Xiao] what to put between her legs?!"

Jacob: "... name this birthplace of Jesus."
Jim: "Um ... isn't that Bethlehem?"
Jacob: "What was that pause for? You don't know Bethlehem? Even I know that, and I'm Jewish!"
Jim and Xiao, together, shouting: "Well, you should know, you killed him!"

(Xiao uses Chinese to compare a thesis defense to pooping)
Maribeth: "Well, yeah. I felt good after it was done."

Question: "He visited Laputa ..."
Parag: "Gilligan!"

Question: "He discovered the charge on an electron."
Irene: "Coulomb!"
Answer: Millikan

Question: "Out of the original 13 colonies ..."
Jordan: "Alaska."

Xiao: "I think you need to be happy to get drunk."
Jordan: "140 million Russians stand as your counterexample."

Question: "... the Iwojima statue commemorates them ..."
Jim: "Marines."
"Prompt."
Jim: "United States Marines?"
"Prompt."
Jim: "United States Marine ... Memorial?"
"Prompt."
(Jim gives up)
Answer: Marine Corps

Jim: "Name this treatise on statistics."
Jordan: "The Bell Curve".
Jim: "No, but close ..."
Irene: "The Bell Jar"?

Question: "It took twenty four people working in three locations in six teams ..."
Jordan: "LIGO?"
Answer: King James Bible

Question: "A researcher created a master control program using ..."
Jacob: "TRON."
Answer: LISP

Question: "Name this composer of Adag--"
Jordan: "Barbio!"
Answer: Barber

"I thought it was his dandruff, but sperm is better." - Grace

"Who won the Pyrric Victory?" - Irene

"I KNOW my homosexual necrophilia!" - Paul (of Harvey Mudd)

"I am TOO an old maid!" - Freddy (of Berkeley)

"Wassup my cracker?" - some practice wherein we had Whites v. Asians

"When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to jack off ..." - Parag

"My ass just agreed with his ass." - Tom

"That is one magic ass!" and "Your ass is on fire!" - Xiao

"Fucking minutes are shorter than normal minutes." - Jordan

"Quizbowl or sex? ... Or at the same time! Like when you say 'oh, oh, ohhhhhh!'" - Jacob

"The sweet potatoes got to [Daniel Boone] before the Mexicans did." - Parag

"We're going to have to carry out the Defenestration of Parag." - Kevin